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Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Getting all my Ducks in a Row





Well..I have a feeling this will be my last blog entry for awhile...hopefully no more than a month or so but I can't make any promises...and I think it takes me like a month to update without a newborn to care for so..yeah..maybe longer. Yeah, I would count on much longer than a month. Anyways, we went to the last doctors appointment yesterday. Everything went well. Everything is still set up for the 9th of November. That's in five days people!! That doctors visit pretty much put it all in perspective for me. Made it real. I have been counting down for weeks now but when Jacob and I left there we kinda just stared at each other...then smiled really big and said, "Holy Cow Babe...we are about to have a little baby!" So my doctor gave us the map, told us where to park..what time we have to be there on Sunday for pre-op (sunday is going to be a busy day)and what time we have to be there on the baby's birthday. 5:30 a.m...and i know that probably sounds early to most but Jacob and I have already decided there is no way we are going to be able to sleep much the night before. Amber asked me today if I was nervous about the C-Sec. I am absolutely not nervous about anything. Honestly, I am more nervous about getting blood drawn Sunday morning at pre-op. I hate getting blood drawn. I am not nervous about the surgery, about the spinal tap. I just wonder not knowing if we are having a boy or girl, if it's taking most of my nerves away and replacing them with excitement or what..It's weird. I can't imagine it, but m aybe I will be more nervous closer to surgery time. I feel like I have to be strong for Jacob. Jacob is nervous about losing me...he always has been in a situation like this. And I don't want to make it worse. He called from work today and said he wasn't able to focus..his mind is just on baby and me. I love him! Poor guy.

Getting my ducks in a row is stressful. I have to pack for the kids, I have to pack for Jacob and I and make sure that this house is a clean house to bring a newborn home to. But Thank you God for Jacob! He told me to just make a list and he will get it done. So I did! I made a list and he is more than half way done with it. Although, I feel like any dusting or major cleaning we did do was all for nothing. I mean do you ever feel that way. Do you ever feel like you sweep and you mop and you dust just for it to look like it needs to be done again the next day? I cannot escape the dust in my house. It drives me insane!! Insane I tell you! Anyways..housework is getting done. Friday I will probably be packing the kids and Sunday I will finish packing Jacob and I. I can't wait for Sunday night. My mom is cooking dinner for all of us. My favorite, round steak, mash potatoes, gravy and green beans. I love her Round steak. I have tried and tried to match it but I can't. I finally realized there is a reason for that. It's hers and she cooks it for me..and it just reminds me of when I was younger and I love that!

This is probably going to be the last time I am pregnant. Lots of different reasons and most of you know what they are. And if you don't, it's the obvious. Three kids is a lot to take care of financially, emotionally and mentally. I wanted a love child with Jacob. He is the love of my life so it was inevitable for us to have a baby together but he is just as content with having one so that makes me happy. More than three C-Secs seems to be pushing my luck too. Although, I know that many women have done it and I have no idea what sort of shape my uterus is in..I still think 3 is enough for me. I know a lot of people get sad when they know they are done and see pregnant women. Maybe it's mostly the people that can't get pregnant anymore..and I can't begin to pretend to understand that. I am not in that place yet. But the thought of not being pregnant, does not make me sad. I am excited about having this baby but I'm also excited about being able to focus on raising my family. It is not at all because I didn't enjoy my pregnancy. This pregnancy, for me, has been an absolute blessing and joy and the only reason for that is because of my husband. Jacob, as you all know, has been a God send to me in every aspect of my life. But this pregnancy thing was a new venture that we took on. I didn't know what to expect. I'm getting deep here but my previous two pregnancies were not as enjoyable. I did not have the same loving feeling as I do with Jacob. So I was a little fearful to say the least but, once again, Jacob has proven me wrong. The thing is, Jacob always proves me wrong. Time and time again, he shows me what real love is. And he has loved me from beginning to end. He has loved my belly and all my hysterical, emotional tears, he has endured my mood swings, he has become more understanding of me than he has ever been. I have never felt so beautiful in such a different way than the last 9 months. I have never felt more comfortable in my own skin than in the last 9 months. It is a wonderful feeling and for that I just want to tell my husband that I love him with all my heart and soul and how I love my life so much and I owe it all to you and your beautiful heart. Okay well I will tell him that..cause he probably won't read this unless I ask him to. Although, every time he made me listen to some country song...completely unforgiveable while I was pregnant. Sorry I had to lighten the mood there!! I know I tell you all I am miserable, and I am..right now but I don't mind the misery. I know it comes with the territory, I know its at the end and I know that it's all for a good reason. So he makes it all tolerable I guess.

*Sigh* well now that I got that out of the way...So we have a lot of things to do before Sunday!! I need a nursing bra..(yeah I know), I need to get some pj pants (did I say I need them..I meant I want them), we have a birthday party to make an appearance at so we need to get a gift for that and then the packing and finish the cleaning..and I love busy days...only when having a baby follows the very next day. Makes it all go by so much faster doesn't it?

I asked my doctor if she REALLY didn't know what we were having. Like REALLY didn't know, like it wasn't in the chart at all? And she looked at me and actually said, "What? You have gone all this time and now you want to know!" Haha..I said no, I was just curious if you really had no idea. She reassured me she really had no idea. Then she said, but my gut says you are having a girl. And then she gave me a swine flu shot. Haha! I was so going to deny it but I talked it out with her..and then jacob called my smart best friend Brian and made sure it was something he would have his pregnant wife do. (it's a long story) Basically, she put it like this, since we cant protect everyone else from the swine flu we are going to protect your baby from the world. And apparently 5 days is long enough for the baby to build up an immunity from it, that and my breast milk, so I feel better about that. I also, wouldn't do it unless they had the single dose, mercury free ones. That was something I wouldn't give on. Again, Brian, thanks for all your intelligence and research. I love you!! You rock! So..if your pregnant and reading this (Graham - haha!) then be sure, if you choose to get the shot, that it's the single dose, mercury free one. I tried to get out of it because I only have five days left, you other pregnant women have more time...Which..makes me kinda smile!!! Like an evil smile!! Oh I'm sorry...that was mean.

RANDOM STUFF -
All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth - Jackson lost his other front tooth. He is absolutely adorable with his two front teeth missing now. His other teeth will be grown in completely in a week I swear it.

Pumpkin Patch - We took the kids to the pumpkin patch this year. Well I mean we do every year but this year, since we didn't have the kids for halloween, I almost wanted to skip out on it. I'm glad Jacob didn't allow that to happen. We got some cute pics and they had fun. It was muddy too but we just let them get their socks muddy and run around and they loved it! The bees sucked though~

Crystal Michelle Ashmore - Goodness gracious that girl has the absolute worst luck. I just want to say that I thank God for healing her kids and for healing Crystal. We were all really worried for awhile there. And I'm also super duper happy that she can come see me at the hospital, and that she is not contagious!! Okay that was selfish. I know. But I can't help it..I am happy about that.

Ella's theory on how God makes people - On our way home from church - "Momma, I know how God makes people..He takes a head and pours blood into it and then He takes a body and pours blood into that and then He puts them together." What are they teaching these kids in church these days? hahaha!! I just agreed with her..I didn't even know where to begin.

Friends..One is Silver and the other Gold - So I have been thinking about Friends a lot lately, in the last few months mainly. I think as human beings we have a need for close, intimate friendships that go beyond our spouses or family. But I also think, as we get older, the friends we choose to have in our lives are much closer to our equals than we think. I don't think we work as hard to keep the friendships that are one sided or that we have to work so hard at keeping. Why would we? What a waste of time and energy. Especially when you can have those friends that love you for who you are, for all your faults and admire all that is good about you. Friends that need you, as much as you need them. Friends that show you how much they love you and don't just assume you know. Friendships are not effortless by any means but the time you do put in should not feel like time. It should be something that you want to do and something that you feel like is reciprocated from the other end. I feel very blessed to have the friendships that I do in my life. I don't have very many and I am very happy with that. Mainly because I know that the friends that I do have are just that, my actual friends. My equals. They love me as much as I love them. They put forth the effort and our glad to do so, just like I do. I have old friends that I have had for years and years and I cherish those friendships so much and all the memories that I have with them. I don't have that with too many people but I love what I have with them. My newer friendships I feel like I have had for years. I feel loved. I feel appreciated. I feel like I am their equal. That they love me no more and no less than I do. That they do not feel like they are better than me and that they do not judge me. They don't keep me around for selfish reasons. They are my friends and they are beautiful on the inside. And that's the most important thing of all!

Sister - I just had to put a shout out to my sister cause, besides Jacob, she is my bestest friend. And I'm so happy for you and your family. The new house is awesome! And you deserve it!

Love you all..and Mamo..I'm so glad you read this!!

Thursday, October 22, 2009

"Daaaaaaaang Girl, You're Big!"




Why thank you, thank you complete stranger that I don't know who just randomly pulled me out of all the pregnant girls in the waiting room to tell me that I am large due to the ever expanding child growing inside of me. Just what I wanted to hear today. Especially after waiting over two hours to see my doctor. Which, then didn't get to see my doctor, she left right as I was getting back to the room. Apparently she had a bleeder at the hospital. And I know it annoyed all those other pregnant women in there but seriously, get over it. It's her job. If you were bleeding out at the hospital wouldn't you want her to come take care of you? Yeah...that's what I thought. Okay so I might be a little cranky today. I'm really tired right now and maybe I should have picked another time to do it but, gosh darn it, I keep putting it off. I wanted to get this done!! So anyways, the nurse told me I looked miserable..made me think for a minute we could probably move the C-Section up, she even told me to talk to the dr. at my next appointment (which is Tuesday by the way) and to let her know how miserable I am. But I know my doctor, I'm not due until November 17th, and I'm delivering on November 9th, So that is already 9 days early. So..not gonna happen. Honestly, I'm not sure tha I want it to happen. Unless it happens naturally and the baby is just ready..I don't want to go in earlier than recommended just because I'm tired or just because I hurt...I will survive. No worries here!! Only 18 days left...I can tough this one out...

So...lets' see..the real reason why I wanted to update this blog is to talk about my wondermous baby shower that my wondermous family and friends threw me. It was absolutely perfect. Just how I pictured it. There were no games so everyone just talked and caught up with each other. We all mingled. I got to see all of my bestest friends and family. Of course not including Crystal and Amber, who had legitimate reasons for not attending. I get that you have to put food on the table and work. You were both missed but Crystal made up for it by crying her eyes out to her boss and Amber's gift bag could not have been more perfect. Besides that..she gave me pj's. (among other things) I have been wearing these pj's since. And Hannah..who as much as I wanted to be there, had to cheer that same day at school, and we understood that. Anways, I just wanted to thank Allison, my sister, my mom and Kriss (my mother in law) for hosting such a wondeful party for Jacob and I and our baby. We got every single thing we registered for and then some! Perfect!!! Oh and Brian..I love you for coming..and even more for staying. You can have a beer with Jacob any other time. Maybe you guys could sit down and talk investments...Hahahahhaa!!

I know this is short in comparison to my other one but I really don't have more to add. Or maybe I'm just tired and want a nap. Or maybe I want to take a walk outside with Jacob since he is home early. I won't last long but this weather is awesome. Makes me want a hot cocoa. Oh that reminds me, Jacob and I did take a small little last minute road trip to watch Hannah cheer. It was fun to surprise her and Kriss and Greg. We got home really really late so I wouldn't recommend those last minute late night Wichita Falls football games to those with small children. But we didn't have our kids so it all sorta worked out. It was fun..and I got to stop at the gas station and get an assortment of food. Anways...glad we did that cause I don't think I could sit in bleachers for any amount of time from this point on. That part was a little rough. Anyways...love you to those who read this..

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

I heart you FALL!!! You complete me!



*Sigh* I was waiting for some sort of inspiration to post a new blog..it's been awhile for me. Well I got it yesterday...the weather. Yes people..the weather! I absolutely love Fall. It's my favorite time of the year and while I know that it's going to get warmer before it continues to stay cool..it was nice to have the first "official" day of fall feel like Fall weather. I love when the leaves turn all sorts of beautiful colors and when the air is crisp. When you have to wear jeans and at least a light jacket. When my house is decorated with all my Halloween stuff...(my favorite) and when all the candles smell like Pumpkin spice or something baking in the oven. When flip flops are no longer acceptable because of the cold outside...and you have to wear boots!! When it starts to smell like someone is burning a fire in their fireplace because they are a little too eager for winter to arrive. (we are so guilty of this) I just love you Fall and everything about you. I wish that we had you longer here in Texas. I tried explaining seasons to Ella last night...that was a tough one. Especially since it seems like every other year Halloween is cold or hot. Never consistent. Ever.

Speaking of Halloween, this will be the first year I won't have the kiddos to go trick or treating with. Now please..don't feel bad for me. As much as you all know how much I love love love Halloween and getting them all dressed up and trick or treating through our neighborhood, do not cry a tear for me. I mean like I love Halloween so much I had it written in the divorce decree as a celebrated Holiday...to be sure I had them at least every other Halloween. Up until this point, I have been fortunate to have them every year but Lindsey has them this year and I am excited for them. I know they will have a blast. And I am looking forward to handing out candy and maybe painting my big belly. The most important thing is that I get to keep my big belly at home this year. And rest...aahhhhhhhh!!!

Well it's been so long since I have blogged..I have come and gone to two different OB appointments. Neither very eventful but both good. The one before last Jacob and I both got flu shots...that was fun. But suprisingly not painful at all. I went to my last appointment on Monday and I was in and out in like 25 minutes. 25 minutes people!!! That is like record time at my doctors office. On top of that, Ella was with me..and we came prepared. Her bag full of goodies to keep her occupied and I know this will shock those of you that know her, I mean really know her, but she was an angel. Anyways...I measured good, blood pressure was good. I asked if I would have another ultrasound and she said possibly. She said she saves those to be sure the baby is facing head down and something else..it escapses me. But I asked if I was having a CSection why it mattered which way the baby was facing and she said it didn't but that it was a good excuse to get another ultra sound. (wink wink) So yeah...maybe we will get another one. Do you know...do you know that I will be having this baby in the next 47 days!! I can't believe it! Of course Jacob says that feels like an enternity. He is constantly staring at my belly or rubbing my belly saying.."I want you to come out now"....I try to tell him that the baby is still baking and that 47 days is really not that long in the big picture but I don't think he hears me!!

So we got the baby's room primed..first coat finished. Definitely is going to need a second coat. That was a dark color they had up in that room. I saw a really pretty blue in a baby's room on a news station I was watching. I loved the color blue..for a girl or a boys room. Loved it. I'm going for different this time. Especially if it's a girl. No pink thank you very much. I already have Ella..she is pink enough for us all.

Well I feel like I have updated you all on the past month or so. That or I'm getting really sleepy and if I don't get in the shower soon I may fall asleep right here at this desk. I wanted to share some of my faves for this last month: My kids faces when the remote moves when I put it on my belly. Going over to Allison's and talking all night. (sorry we stayed so late but it was fun) Going up to OTB to hang with my sister. (wanted her to know how much i love her and glad I could be there for her) My weekend with Jacob just "looking" at baby stuff...and registering with him! Anytime I get to see my mom!! My nights hanging out with Crystal. When I got the baby invitation in the mail. (love it Alli - you are so awesome) Going to the park with Ella. When my sister found out that the little ol' lady accepted the offer on the house. (can't wait until they get to move in) When Jackson's teacher emailed me about how awesome he is doing. (I could not be more proud) When Jackson lost his tooth!! (I love looking at him talking now..it's hysterical and adorable.) When I got my card in the mail from Crystal. (totally unexpected - snail mail is the best) The first day of FALL!! (can't top that)

LOVE!!!

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Thing One and Thing Two...

Whelp that about does it for summa summa summa time!!! Tomorrow starts a new school year for my 2nd grader and I am so glad that he is so pumped about it. I'm pretty sure he would have been happy starting school on "Meet the Teacher Night". He was running around that room with his old friends like crazy!

Spent the weekend getting a lot of stuff done but it's never enough. We started going through all the baby clothes that we have. It's crazy!!! We should be set on baby clothes for the first 6 months or so. We may need to get some winter clothes if we have a boy because a lot of Jackson's are the opposite season of this baby but we managed to get a few that will get us through the first month at least.

Speaking of boy or girl...I keep going back and forth about what I want. And you know what I find funny? Why do people think that just because you want a certain gender you would be unhappy with the other? I mean isn't it natural to have a preference? Maybe that's my problem..maybe I really don't have a preference because I have both but even if I wanted a girl but had a boy I would be just as happy. I think some people find that hard to understand...but to each his own I guess, right? So yeah I think I'm on the girl kick again. I don't know if it's the clothes we just went through or what but ask me if I still want a girl on a bad day with Ella and I may change my mind. Or you could ask me if I wanted a girl on a good day with Ella and my answer could be, "A Boy"...Have I ever mentioned that I am an extremely indecisive person?

We also aren't set on girl names either. WE thought we were until I got a text from my in-laws one day...Actually before I even got the text I was thinking about the name they sent me..but I wasn't sure because two of my best friends have named their daughters the same name...Lillian or Lily. I love Lillian...A LOT! And I talked to Crystal about it (her almost 1 year old is named Lillian) and she is all for it!! Which I knew she would be...and we figured we would refer to them as Thing One and Thing Two if need be. But, honestly, what's the worse case scenario...my Lillian grows up potentially knowing another child with her name? The possibility of that happening are out there either way. I told Jacob that he ultimately gets to choose the first name and I'm chosing the middle...so it will be up to him but I'm pretty sure the name Lillian is growing on him a lot. I guess we will just have to wait and see...

Let's see...what else did we get done over the weekend. Well we didn't clean out the baby room like I thought we would but we have plenty of time for that. I ended up going over to Crystal's to "watch the cowboys game" Friday night. Of course, we hardly watched it at all. We just talked..and talked...and talked...and were interrupted by a rock fight between her boys. Gaige totally had the unfair advantage of not knowing there was a rock fight between him and his brother. Briysen just went for it and through a rock, a HUGE rock, I might add, right at Gaige while he was swinging...Gaige was a trooper though and Briysen was really sorry!! Crystal handled it way better than I probably would have!! Anyways..it was nice to hang out with her and get to talk, I really enjoyed her company. We also registered over the weekend. Not even realizing it was tax free weekend, Target was not bad at all considering. It was so different registering when you don't know what you are having. I noticed that we pretty much registered for only the things we absolutely NEED. Which was very different for me. I'm pretty sure when I registered with Ella I went for it. I went PINK and never looked back. So we don't really have much that we registerd for. And my sister is giving us some things that we can use so that helps out a lot. It was fun to do though!

Well I need to wrap this up. My kids are coming home today rather than tomorrow morning. It's Jackson's first day and I get to take him to school so Lindsey is dropping them off earlier than usual. Yeah!!!

Peace OUT!!

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

*Sigh* Off to College...


I just texted my Mother-in-law to see how she was holding up. She is sending her youngest and only daugther (she has 4 older boys)off to college today. They drove down yesterday morning and are still hanging around getting more things for her dorm and taking her to lunch. Like she said, anything she can to prolong them having to leave. I totally have a lump in my throat right now. I just can't imagine sending my kids off to school. I will be a horrible, embarrasing mess. I know there are mixed emotions, like Greg said (hannah's dad), He is just so proud of her for doing what she is doing. But I think it must be a mom and dad thing or male and female thing. I of course would be proud but I think my sad emotions will overwhelm me. I mean, HELLO, I'm overwhelmed now and Hannah isn't even my daughter!! Why didn't anyone ever telling me that growing older is so much harder. And I don't mean me getting older..I mean my kids!!! I mean I always heard that time flies, and they grow to fast..I heard that all the time, especially when I was younger. My relatives would say that to my parents all the time. That meant nothing to me then..I didn't grasp that concept and I'm sure at the time I was thinking..., "Yes..time please fly by..I can't wait to be an adult!" Now I know better!!! Anyways Kriss...you do have three other daughters near by and I know we don't make up for Hannah Banana but we are still here if you need us!!! Love you!

Oh Baby!!


Well we went to the Dr. yesterday. I totally thought that was going to be a long visit. It was the glucose challenge one...so I had to drink my orange...(way more disgusting than I remember) drink 30 minutes before my appt..but they couldn't take my blood until an hour after I had finished it...so 9:35...but I got called back really quickly. Saw the doctor really quickly. Everything checked out good...weight is still okay...I just hate climbing numbers..pregnant or not...but hey..it's inevitable right? She told me that they have new ways of doing Anesthesia...or something and she would tell me about them next time I come in. She said it was very exciting and just seemed like she could not wait to tell me...Why is she torturing me? What does that mean? I want to know now!! At least I don't have to wait 4 weeks, she scheduled me back in another 3 weeks but still...I bet it's not even a big deal or something I won't even understand..I don't have a clue...I'm dying to know what it is though..Because of course I imagine she tells me that I don't have to have a shot in my spine...that would be great wouldn't it? For all of us..that we could just drink some really good tasting beverage and it would cause us to go numb from the waste down...Hey a girl can dream can't she?? Got my results back, she said i passed my glucose and iron test with flying colors!!! That's always good to hear! And since the last visit Jacob and I have decided not to tie the tubes. Don't get me wrong..we don't want anymore kids..Three is still enough for us BUT we did have our own reasons for deciding not to tie them up. My doctor also told Jacob that if, when she gets "in there" and sees that the scar tissue is too bad or my uterus is too thin and it would be too dangerous for me to have another C-Section then she will recommend that I tie my tubes. She told Jacob she would even have him take a look in her "surgical field" while she was doing it..so he could see as well. I'm pretty sure when she told Jacob that he vomited a little bit..he definitely dry heaved. We trust my doctor..no need to go that route!!

Oh and we did get a time for Baby Bryant to arrive. November 9th, 7:30 a.m.. And no I expect no one to be there except for my husband and maybe my mom with my kids. That's a maybe and me being totally selfish. I know I am going to want to see my kids before I go into surgery..I will be an emotional wreck I think if I don't. On the other hand, we have to be at the hospital around 5 a.m. and I know even having the kids there at 7:30 or before that is going to be early for them...and then everyone they are around will have to suffer that day for it. So maybe I need to get all my hugs and kisses out the night before. Which, thank God, that Lindsey has agreed to bring them home to me that Sunday even though it's his weekend. I don't know what I would do if he didnt' do that for me. Oh and Mom, I'm not sure if you know this or not but we wanted you to stay the night with us that Sunday night. Mmmkay!! Awesome. So on that Sunday morning I have pre-op at the hospital at 9 a.m....more blood drawn and paper work!! Yeah!! Which, speaking of blood work, when I got it done Monday at my appt. I realized it's not the needle that really hurts or makes me feel uncomfortable..it's when the blood is being "sucked" from my body..it's the most uncomfortable feeling ever. I don't know how to describe it but that is when I said, "OUCH!" !!! I thought that was weird..but it makes sense now. Needles don't really hurt all that much..It's crazy to think that after my next appt. I will only have 9 weeks left!!

I am so excited!!! We bought a take home outfit for a girl and a boy. First thing we have purchased since finding out we are having a baby. I was just grinning from ear to ear when we left the store. I know, it seems silly, but it makes it so much more real for some reason. We have also gone through a lot of baby clothes...Jackson and Ella's...And we have been able to find a ton of newborn clothes for a boy..problem is..Jackson is a summer baby...so the seasons and outfits don't match up with this one..luckily I'm pretty sure we got some of Caleb's and Ashton's in the mix so I think we can get buy. Ella's on the other hand I have found 3 newborn outfits from all the clothes I have gone through. And I think they must be Abby's because they are summer outfits...which again..won't work..I need to find Ella's...she was a winter baby. I'm keeping my fingers crossed Crystal is going to come through for me!! Either way it's been sort of fun going through all of this stuff together. A pain too..mostly on the lower back..sitting there and pulling them out and refolding and rebagging and relabeling..and figuring out where to put all of it in the mean time...but still fun!! I mean didn't I just make that sound like so much fun!!

I also think we may be getting baby furniture this weekend. Jacob is so excited about that!! He even started talking about painting the room. I was like, "What? Really?"...I mean if he really wants to tape it and put primer on the walls who am i to stop him?? He is just so cute and so excited!! I love it!! We are very fortunate to have a friend that wants us to have that furniture and let us pay for it when we can. Thank you so much!! I love you!!! We absolutely don't need it yet but we are happy to start putting all of this together. If Jacob can put it together without the instructions..I'm a little worried. I cannot tell a lie.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

This one time I am permitting time to fly

Well I'm updating mainly because I can but not because I have anything exciting to add..Besides it's a blog, aren't you suppose to just upchuck your thoughts on your blog anyways? Yes..I said upchuck.

Anyways, I can't believe it's the end of the summer already. I have such mixed emotions about it. Although I think my emotions are stemming more from the fact that I have a 2nd grader who is growing up so fast I can't keep up and not because he is starting school. That part I am pretty excited about. Mainly for him..he is getting bored and I know he is really excited about starting the new school year. Okay okay..I'm excited for me to. As most of you are aware, it's hard entertaining a 7 year old for a long period of time, especially when his sister is only 4 ( i say only but again that freaks me out) and a girl...Two totally different attention spans each with their very own, very different ideas of what being entertained entails. I am sad that Jackson is 7. I know I shouldn't be. And please don't get me wrong. I am so thankful that he is 7 and that he is healthy and growing every day. I know some people don't have the luxury of saying that. So I do know it's a blessing. But I'm a mom and I'm very close to my first born. He is just so darn sweet all the time and he's my baby you know..and I can't even pick up my baby anymore...because he is getting so big. I'm just glad he still likes to cuddle with me. I know there will be a day not too far from now that he won't want to do that anymore. I just miss when he was a baby...that's okay to miss that right? I'm a mom for goodness sakes!! It's normal!! Please tell me it's normal! There was a lady at one of Jacob's spouses meetings we had for his work and I remember when she stood up to introduce herself she said her name and that she was just so happy that her kids were all grown up. I couldn't believe it!! I always tell my kids to stop growing..that they are not allowed to get any bigger!! Maybe she had horrible kids..I don't know. Maybe I'm just not there yet.

Well I think I decided..although I'm not positive..and if you know me..I never am. But I think I want a boy. I mean of course I will take either..I ultimately want healthy but a lot of people ask me which do I prefer. My answer is normally I have one of each so I don't really care. And I don't think that I do but I know Jacob would love a boy. I think I am more just curious to see what our own girl would look like but if that's the case I am curious to see what our son would look like too. I just can't imagine. I think all of my nephews look like their dad...Caleb looks like his mom a little and Abby is beginning to look more like Caleb...but I also think my sister and brother-in-law resemble one another. Dark hair, big dimples...I don't know..to say one looks like Nick is to say that it also resembles their mom. Now Jared and Lisa don't look anything a like...and Maddox looks just like Jared. I don't really know what all of that means...except I can't wait to meet this baby and see who he/she looks like!! I am so ready...I am ready Freddy!! One of our good friends just had her baby, Baby Ava, and she is beautiful. We visited them again on Sunday and I held her for a long time and Steph and I just chatted while the baby ate and it was so fun and and exciting. Everytime Jacob holds her I know he gets more anxious than ever for our baby to be here.. Like I said..I am Ready Freddy!!

I got my teeth cleaned today..I know exciting stuff right. I'm in pain. Actually now that I think about it that Tylenol is kicking in. But wow!! I guess it had been so long I had forgotten the process. I will NEVER wait that long again. Like EVER. I already scheduled my 6 month follow up in December. I'm hoping I don't bleed like a stuck pig this time. Geez...

Monday I go to the doctor for my Glucose test. I don't mind the drink..I hate the needles and the blood taking. Just can't seem to quite get use to that. I bet I get a time for November 9th on Monday too from my doctor..Just a guess I could be wrong but I'm hoping I will. I don't know why, it's not like it's right around the corner or anything. This Sunday will make it 11 weeks until the baby is here..woo hoo!! Okay it's closer than I realized. This one time I am permitting time to fly.

Lastly, and it totally doesn't matter if I add this but I just want to because I am bursting at the seams for my husband. Jacob started this new job not too long ago. In the beginning I think his expectations of himself (not the job) were just a little too far out of reach...so he would become disappointed. By in the beginning, I mean the first week or two he was in the office he was beating himself up..but he has just soared. He has totally rocked this new position and it just keeps getting better and better. He has definitely earned his place and all his accomplishments. Nothing has been given to him and I am just so proud of him for that. I just love that he is doing something that he has wanted to do for so long. This is what all the other jobs he has had in his past were leading up to..what the college courses were for..and he is there..at 24 years old..living his dream. Okay well he is starting to live his dream. And he's good at it. So honey I know I tell you this every day and I know you don't really read my blogs unless I tell you to but I just want you to know that I love you and I could not be more proud of you and your hard work!!

Awww *sigh* well...it's my day "off" so to speak and I have already got my teeth cleaned, visted Jacob at his office, visited my mother-in-law at hers..gone to lunch with my husband and now I am heading to the pool for a little while. Will go work out after that. Got my hair done and CUT this week...gosh that feels so much better and fit in my kids dentists appointments on Monday too. I feel so productive!

See you later!